Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
