she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
