I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
