Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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