We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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