just tell him i said nine months
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
