We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize