you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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