Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
