New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize