So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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