i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
