Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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