SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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