people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
