How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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