I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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