oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
