Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I bet he comes in French.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
