Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
