then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
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