love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
