Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
