She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
