Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
