Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
