Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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