woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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