i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
