Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
