Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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