I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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