Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
