just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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