I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize