Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
