i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
