I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
