but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize