I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
