I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
