Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
