What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
