I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize