alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
