Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
