I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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