90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
