i don't like sucking hair
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
