so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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