i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
