i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
