im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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