When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
