we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
