i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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