Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
