you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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