You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
