i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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