There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
