The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
