Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
