if you like me you must not know who I am
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
