i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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