oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
