It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
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