My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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