I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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